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Department of Lexicography: "Want to knock off early and go out for some alphabet soup?"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

Roget's Pet

Crossword Dictionary Bookstore

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

"Spoiler alert...Z."

Thesaurus Publishing: In a Meeting, Gathering, Conference, Forum, Discussion.

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

"The definitions in this dictionary seem at odds with the words they're describing?"

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

Thesaurus Publishing: Push, Shove, Thrust, Nudge.

Thesaurus Publishing: Welcome, Greetings, Salutations

Samuel Johnson

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

Thesaurus Editor, Overseer, Corrector, Improver, Modifier.

'The larrikin was shirty because his crowdy wasn't flyless.'

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

'The sagaman must have had a googol of inedita.'

Ernie's looking up the meaning of "palindrome". Dictionary. Aha!

No, no, no! Can anyone here tell me what Mr Mosely's doing wrong?

"Da, I know what opprobrium means."/ "That's great, son. Do you know anyone else who does?"

Dr. Samuel Johnson

"Dad, I know what opprobrium means." "That's great, son. Do you know anyone else who does?"

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

'From now on, Jaded will not mean tired or worn out but rather overweight and minging'. V annoying

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

"I'm impressed! Junior actually asked to use our old-fashioned dictionary!"

"That question you asked earlier piqued my curiosity, Steve..."

"Hey guys, this is the only book you need. It contains every word of every book!"