Dialogue Champion Mugs

"You don't need to be anti-white to be pro-black."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Meet the Enemy

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Now that's a win."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Healthcare declaration

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

A young positivist.

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

Children arguing over the name of a fish