Devilishly Funny Career Changers Prints

"Look – you want a new career as a fireman, that's fine. But I wouldn't wear that thing around here in the mean time."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

Planned service changes

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing