Destroyer Of Upholstery Mugs

"Thanks. I feel much better now."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Interior design trends for parents....

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"The knights of the round accent table"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Surprise!"

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

"Why does the chair always get to chair these meetings?"