Dessert Rebel Pillows

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Any time is cake o'clock

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Surprise!"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Thou Shalt Not!

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

Lockdown casserole

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Garlic Free Zone.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Chocs away.

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Valet park only"

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"I'm unable to process this image."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'