Desk Jokers Pillows

I'm on Break.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Golfing Boss

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Morning, all!"

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Time for More Paperwork

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."