Desk Duty Sage T-Shirts

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

Career Choices

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Between Offices

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

Finger on the Z Key

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

Whack, Out of Whack.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

In/Out/How did this end up on my desk?

"When you reach the bottom of the pile, you'll find this week's paycheck."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Remember, Preston, all work and no play make you employed.'

"The first of many cubicles..."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"Raise your hand if you're the only one that's not getting let go."

'Sorry, darling, the firm's corporate lawyers say I can't discuss my day.'

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

Do not resuscitate.

"People whinge about the irrelevance and duplication of paperwork, but if the forms aren't filled out how are we supposed to know how many forms have been completed?"

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'