Desert Flora Fan Pillows

"Ever hear that sometimes you begin to resemble your plants?"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Author's Bio-diversity.

The Velvet Mesquite

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

The Joshua Tree

'He may have green fingers, but he's got dirty finger nails!'

Flower sniffer

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

Mushrooms of New York

Welcome to Kew Gardens

'I'm sorry, Frank, but I think I need some space.'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

The Abbe- For Beardsley's Story 'Under the Hill'

Cactus Man.

"You must be the new guy!"

Wallpaper over a door.

'There, there, Dear. A poinsettia's for Christmas, not for life.'

Seed packet reads: EASY GROW JAPANESE KNOTWEED

Yogic Flier / Flymo

For thousands of years desert dwellers have harvested the delicious dark red juicy fruit of the saguaro.

"He won't get far without this!"

"That's what happens when they get enough water."

"When did you first realise people were abusing you?"

Vulture Painting

When Vegans Eat Out. . .

Summer Blooms in the City

The Philodendron-Filing Doldrums Dilemma

'I got a bouquet of forget-me-nots from what's-his-name.'

Pumping up a cactus

'If you pretend to water these fake flowers they'll last longer.'

Deserted island with a 'No Smoking' sign on it