Dermatology Devotee Prints

"I'm not a snowflake Martha, I'm just having an eczema flare up."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Too much concealer?"

PROBLEM AREAS

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Pop Culture for Teens

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

S.P.F. 1,000

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

New Twenty Blades

Desert Dermatologist

Dermatologist reading a 'Journal of Itchcraft'.

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'You do Botox?'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"