Deodorant Aficionado T-Shirts

'Our product testers aren't meant to be used that way, Sir.'

Spray-on Odorant

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Men's fragrances...

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Some scents are nonsense.

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

The day wasps discovered there's something about an Aqua Velva Man.

Pheromones.

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

"By the way, thanks for the cologne!"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

'Say what you like about the All Black scrum, but it's clearly the most fragrant and well groomed in the modern game.'

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."

"It's a wheeble or some such thing, but still no sign of a deoderant."

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

'Honey, these split ends look terrible! What kind of shampoo have you been using?'

Grooming for beginners.

"It's £50 for something that will drive me wild with passion or £25 for something that will get him to leave you alone so you can binge watch Netflix."

'You cant take him anywhere since his ex told him he had B.O.'

'Do you have anything that reeks of power?'

"Mmmm .... I love when you wear pepper spray."

"Actually - he's rather your 'Me, Jane ' sort of boy!"

'You smell as if you're nearly ready.'

'Do you like my new fragrance - It's called 'Surrender'.'

Your husband will love this cologne. It has that new car smell.

'It's for the executive woman.'

"And what few emissions it has are scented with an intoxicating blend of verbena, bergamot and lilac."

'Do you have something that will make my husband smell like someone other than my husband?'