Denial Escapades Gifts

'If I can't put her out of her misery, at least I can put myself out of mine.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"We can address the underlying problems ... or ... you can keep your head in the sand."

'Get me the coast.'

Goodyear Blimp flying round globe.

'LIAR!'

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

Crane arm is lowering to pick up man in the telephone box next to arcade game.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

"3....2....1.....Coming, ready or not....."

" No, I'm not concerned about my weight...why worry about something you can't see?"

'So, Mr. Ross, you want us all to believe this murder was just a 'mistake'? Come on, Bob. Don't you really mean a 'happy little accident''

Reality, and lots of it!

'You're howling off key again!'

'Why do I always lose at this interactive television fishing show!'

'I quit my job because I'm coming into money. Yep, I'm 4-6 weeks away from several rebate checks arriving.'

The 42nd annual City marathon (a guy in a car waiting for the start).

"I don't care how many sets of bathroom scales I've returned to you. This one's defective too!"

"There's no 'I' in denial."

'I'm sorry for being fresh. It's what I do.'

'I'm not going to get ill, I'm not going to get ill. . . cough. . . dammit!'

Palm tree made of books.

"My wife asked me to ask you how to get to Dibble Street."