Delusional Optimist Pillows

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

Back to work...

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

Optimist

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Six Thinking Hats

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

The Death of the Blues

"You might ask, 'Can two people who love each other find happiness in an era of skyrocketing deficits?' I think they can."

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."