Delightfully Snobby T-Shirts

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

Gallery Guide

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"Mind wiping that scanner first? There's no telling whose stuff has been dragged over it."

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

"How do I tell a diner 'no ketchup' in a courteous, yet condescending way?"

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"It's our latest objet d'art, of course we can't use it!"

Fiction book sales.

" ..graduated with honours, great job, beautiful wife, great kids.. Sure we've all got a sad story to tell."

"A little bit less television, a little bit more books on tape. What's your New Year's resolution?

"I didn't spend $5.6 million on this place to get involved with the damn sunsets over New Jersey."

"Lady, I didn't go to barista school just to serve you black coffee."

"It's a bit highbrow for my taste!"

Airport Literature

'Great Books' 'Good Books' 'Trash'

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

"The city life isn't for everyone, so my second house is in the Hamptons."

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

"Excellent, but not fit for a king."

"Sorry, Pembroke, but Telford here is lavishly illustrated."

'Black dots indicate actual creative involvement.'