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"His prose, however, is very elegant."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Alexander Pope

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

Woman and books.

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

Monks form copier service.

Writers strike.

Pencil Rubber

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

Monk on PC.

Writing a letter

False joviality.

'My Life, The Sequel.'

"I guess that I just made a career change from novelist to ghost writer."

'I've gotten quite a bit out of that creative writing class. I think I'll become a literary agent.'

"The most useful course I've ever done was the "Creative Writing" course I did as a kid: It's been invaluable in writing Grant Applications..."

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Ink floating in a paper boat

'Put it in writing!'

"Dear Diary - Today has been . . . er. . . the. . . um. . . most recent day in my life. . ."