Delegation Wizard Gifts

"Change my spots...? No, that's never crossed my mind!! I guess if I really had to, then that's definitely something I'd outsource!!"

"Remember, Timmy. Anything worth doing is worth having somebody do well."

Out-out-out-IN: 'We were once the new guy too.'

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

God's Subcontractors

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

"Your husband has finally learned to delegate...."

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

"I need to clone myself."

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

Oh sure, unload it on me to do it/Out.

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

This reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, is it true that most people need to improve their listening skills?" Sure, I enjoy the glistening hills.

'I can't wait for Power Point.'

'I'll need some people to boss around.'

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

'I start my day by making a list of everything I need to do . . . and who I can get to do it for me.'

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'First the good news.'

"I learned early, if at first you don't succeed, delegate."

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.