Defrost Detective Gifts

Thanks to a generous grant from the oil companies, scientists discover the real reason glaciers are melting.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

Is it me or are we getting a lot more wind lately?

Newton's Law and Order.

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'I don't think the killer would in the garden...that'd be waaaay too obvious.'

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

'We're looking for somebody in medical research.'

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"The $350 we received to stimulate the economy is still missing..."

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

I can carry all the plastic bags I need!

Think Zero Defects

'I'll do anything to find water in this drought.'

'You can stop looking guys, i found it ! The PROOF is in the pudding!' A detective finds a photo, proof of a murder in a bowl of pudding.

"I guess the term 'thin air' no longer applies."

"They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age."

'He was using eggplant - another tragic case of apple pie fraud.'

"It's called The Pastry Shop Mystery. A real Whodoughnut."

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

'It was time to defrost the fridge.'

'HA! Just as I thought! These are DAD'S fingerprints, not SANTA'S.'

"If ye must know, I became this way after me mutinous crew marooned me for seven years on a dessert aisle."

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'The budget deficit is falling! The budget deficit is falling!'

'You ate the styrofoam and left the meringue.'

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"