Definitions Pillows

"Stop the presses - they've just redefined masculinity!"

A Puppet Named Juan

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Campaign for Plain English

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

The Dorrie Decimal System

Punctuation Police

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Bookworm Sleepover

Blue Stockings

Television Readers.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

No-Work Orange

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

What's normal?

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?