Defending A Thesis Pillows

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

The International and May Day Terrorism

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'The Questioner'

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

Difference of Opinion

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Soldier armed with a pen.

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

Trappist Monk Discord

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

Our Two Parties, Explained

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"