Decoration Skeptic Pillows

'It's intimidating that you don't decorate your office.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Teapot

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

Sightings reported to Americans for Decency

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

Android with a computer print out as a scarf

'A Dust Cow'.

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

'Well what do you know? There really is plenty of kitsch in the sea!'

Completely Useless Kitchen Appliances

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"We were already in this room—I remember that hideous Renoir."

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

"Is this rubbish?" "I've seen better."

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."

'Is that any way to take down the tree?'

"No smoking, except in designated Fire and Brimstone areas."

Christmas Star

"Stop looking up my skirt you little creep!"

Satan has boxes on his desk labeled "Guilty" and "Guilty".

"What's a polite but firm way of letting them know I don't like modern architecture?"

Gordon suspected the garden gnome didn't like him.

How to look good vapid.

'You are determined to catch something today aren't you?'

Gumball Machine Fishbowl