Decorated Officer T-Shirts

"You weren't kidding, those are just tiny pictures of your grandkids!"

"After I received this medal, I got drunk and got this tattoo. After I earned this medal, I got drunk and got this tattoo. After I won this medal..."

'And this one's for humor in the line of duty.'

Military General with numerals medals and uniform decorations with 'cont. on back' sign.

"To keep up with the times, I've had them redone as emojis."

Soldier's medals continued on back.

"Pressing this one makes me giggle."

"And that's my medal for having the most color coordinated set of medals."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Neo-International Law

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

hard-boiled egg...

"Postwar is hell."

Military Medals

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."