Debater Of Divine Decrees Pillows

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

John Newman

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'And He sayeth unto me, 'Behold this second set of my commandments, rendered in stone, large-print edition...''

"I stand corrected..."

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'