Dealmaker Guru T-Shirts

'Normally we just come up with some ludicrously high figure depending on how deep we think your pockets are, then we offer you a huge 'discount' to bring it down to about twice what we actually need.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

Kirsten Johnson

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

Your ad here!

'Don't worry, the dog's a sales manager!'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

'I found our eight year old sales goals, and we're almost there.'

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

"Nice work! Combining artificial intelligence and voice capabilities, we finally we have a product that can actually sell itself."

'Something that'll get me googled,'

Media Darling.

"Now remember, you can fool some of the people all of the time. Those are the ones you need to concentrate on."

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

Alphabet Soup: Now in a bold new font.

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

'Another corporation I wouldn't have minded so much, but this was a hostile takeover by my secretary!'

Sales Campaign - Ok, Fender - sell me!

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

Honey badger do care.

"For Christmas, Santa is bringing sales in at plan."

'There I was, all alone... salesmen to the left of me... salesmen to the right of me... salesmen behind me...'

Marketing in the Anthropocene Era: "Hey, it's basically just another branding challenge. How do we make the looming possibility of human extinction sexy?"