Dealing With Relationship Changes Prints

"Maybe the best way we can make Mom see she's too old to have a boyfriend that young is to tell her he's a grape and she's a raisin."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'Great Therapy!'

"We don't talk anymore."

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

DIY marriage counseling.

Snow White and her husband go for counselling.

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

Relationship Issues.

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

Worm Bed

"See how controlling he is?!"

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

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