Dealing With Past Relationships Gifts

"No matter how I treated you, Julia, haunting a man at golf is hitting below the belt."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Before pagers,mobile phones and the internet.

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

'Where Are They Now?'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'Look, I want you back, but I'm not going to beg.'

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

"So I gave her the 2-diamond love-and-BFFF ring and she grave me a big kiss, sold it, and went on a cruise. That's bad, right?!"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"People Change"

Ice Cream Flavors

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

Generation Ex.

"I'm not a vindictive person, Charles. When your chickens do come home to roost I hope they're free range chickens."

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"...Then she took the divorce settlement money...and set up a company that's putting me out of business."

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

'Your ex is calling. Her investment club bought 51 of the company, and you're fired!'

'Darling, this is my ex. You know, the one I said you were twice the man of.'

'Never mind that you could have bought Microsoft years ago - I could have married Bill Gates,'