Dealing With Health Diagnosis Pillows

'Is there ANY good news, Doctor?' 'Well, you don't need to worry about scraping by on a pension.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Science and Coronavirus

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Too bad Desmond had never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

"With this new diagnosis of diabetes you're going to have to make some lifestyle changes."

"I'm sorry, but you've had it up to here."

'This could end up costing a lot more than I thought -- your disease is psychocomatic!'

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

'You're eating all the wrong food.'

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

"You're in luck, in a way. Now is the time to be sick-while Medicare still has some money."

'There's something wrong here. You have all these risk factors, and yet you're in excellent health.'

'We thank you for giving us the ability to genetically alter, irradiate and microwave this wonderful food.'

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Tunnel of Anxiety

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

Alzheimer's Amusement Park

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

'...Or, in layman's terms, Ay caramba!'

"Mr. Bermudez passed out and hit his head, but that'll heal."

Life and Death.

"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."

GALLSTONE SPECIALIST: This too shall pass

'Oh my god... oh my god...'