Dealing With Diagnosis Pillows

Man asks doctor for second opinion of Alzheimers.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Exercise now!

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Surprise Party

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"With this new diagnosis of diabetes you're going to have to make some lifestyle changes."

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

I don't know what it is, but it's a textbook case of something.

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

'Your sugar level is off the chart. Don't worry. We'll whip you back into shape in no time.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

"Cancer patients are on the third floor. This is the psych ward. She wouldn't be here unless she was faking it."

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

"Wow, at last! Somebody who's really ill."

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

"Well, Phil, after years of vague complaints and imaginary ailments, we finally have something to work with."

Tunnel of Anxiety

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'