Dealing With A Diagnosis Mugs

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

"A second opinion? - Oh, it's far too late for THAT!"

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Exercise now!

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

'When you suggest that I might want the second, third, or even the forth opinion...are you saying my condition is THAT bad?!'

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"With this new diagnosis of diabetes you're going to have to make some lifestyle changes."

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Tunnel of Anxiety

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

Alzheimer's Amusement Park

'...Or, in layman's terms, Ay caramba!'

"My Alzheimers doctor. What can I do?"

"Actually, you don't have a pinched nerve...your underwear is too tight!"

"Don't you think it's time to admit to yourself that this rash will not clear up on it's own."

"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."

GALLSTONE SPECIALIST: This too shall pass

Life and Death.

'That Doctor has a lot of nerve...I've waited six weeks for this appointment and he says, 'you're lucky we caught it in time'.'

Cold Call

"Hopefully my body language tells you all you need to know."

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

'If you're bored do some writing.You could start by writing your will.'

"I've conducted a meta analysis of the myriad of tests we've run and I think I can say with a certain level of certainty that you are probably screwed..."