Deacon Prints

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

'With the possible exception of my husband, we all enjoyed your sermon, Reverend.'

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

"I guess I missed more Sundays than I thought."

"Go ahead and take Labor Day off, Pastor."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Night-time halo

God Sneezes Out Creation

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Ghostwriting the Bible

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.