Day Trading Diva Pillows

Vogue Trader

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

Day trading.

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

Party Time!

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

'Will broker deals for food'

"Today opened as November 10, 1987, swung wildly to March 7, 1996, and closed as December 5, 1902."

'Was Benedict Arnold just a plain old traitor, or was he a day traitor, like you, dad?'

'It's not fair! I wanna save the Earth from asteroids and aliens! All daddy wants to do is sell 1,000 shares of stock!'

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

Pharmacy School. We're having a pop quiz. I should have known there'd be surprise drug tests in pharmacy school.

The Day Trader

'That's three 'ayes', two 'nays', one abstention, and one 'go jump in the lake'.'

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

"His mood is pegged to the dollar."

'Exactly how much do you have to speculate before anything starts to accumulate?'

'I was trying to predict future market trends and the computer blew up!'

'Okay, I'll see your 3 and raise you another one!'

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

Pregnancy and Laptops

The Stock Market

'I know I said I love this stock, but that was five minutes ago.'

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'

Fortune - Lost a Fortune.

'My broker uses it to trade hot stocks.'