Daughters Gifts

The last family vacation

"You can be whatever you want to be, but you'll probably turn out like me."

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

"Hey, I love my daughters too but you gotta set boundaries."

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"My daughter is really mad at me because I violated her privacy with an ill-considered question and didn't take into account that she's not a little kid any more..."

'You click on it and it sends you to 'Ask Your Father do com'.'

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

Obama breaks his first campaign promise: 'I know I promised, but...well...apparently we can't afford a new puppy.'

'Santa forgot the bloody batteries!'

"Run, girls, run and never look back."

"Ooooh, Mommy...do these things come with instructions?"

"I know a college education means a better life. But I worry about Gracie living on some campus alone."

"What's good tonight...under $5?"

"How come Cruz can get shoes like this and I can't?"

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"I'm playing Santa in the Christmas play. I need a pillow and eight tiny reindeer by Friday."

"I thought mom said she used to be good at Double Dutch?"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Oh dear, I'm afraid she's letting Mr. Cargill slip through her fingers."

Elephant rides.

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"I still want grandchildren.

Cognitive Dissonance

Just Like Any Other Family

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

A mother wanting to introduce her daughters to a member of a foreign royal family

Soccer kids texting

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

'I'm your new daughter. Marcia and I have traded parents.'

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'

'I know I spoil her, but I can't say no when she looks at me with her big Bambi eyes...'

'If you don't mind, my mis-behaving is too distasteful to discuss!'