Dating Strategists Prints

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

Do you realize that more than half of adult American women are not married? A fascinating statistic. Lots of implications. The main one is: If you can't get a date you're a huge loser. Have a nice day, loser. Have a lousy day yourself.

'I sent out for everything.'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Dating the efficiency expert.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

Being the gentleman he was, Brian insisted on paying in restaurants even though he suddenly realised that dating a bacterium was going to be more expensive than he first thought.

"I can't cook, but I can pay."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'

'When you play hard to get you really mean it, don't you?'