Dating Service Worker T-Shirts

'They couldn't exactly get me a date, but they offered me a job as a practice dummy.'

"I'm sorry Sir, but according to our computer analysis, this is you ideal partner"

'I'm sorry, sir, but affirmative action guidelines require that your first date be a Nepalese pastry cook.'

"So, are you working Mr Smith?"

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

Hot Line

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

GOP senate refuse to pass veterans jobs bill.

'No, I'm not wearing high heels. I look taller because the minimum wage will increase and now I can stand taller.'

Too rare perhaps?

"I read that 40% of us have to take a second job just to make ends meet...It's a disgrace!"

'Will that be for here or to go - and if it's to go, can you take me with you?'

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

“It’s ok to leave the lid up at home but not on a submarine.”

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

Counsellor for man on desert island

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"You folks drunk enough yet?"

"On my home planet, I was a deity."