Dating Service Specialist T-Shirts

"Take a look at this guy, Ellen - Doesn't he look just right for 'Crazy Sally'?"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

Boyfriend of the Month.

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

The Stages of Wine

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

Waiting staff

Dating Rule #1. Repeat after me: I need some space. I need some space. Got it. Good. Make sure you tell that to Laurel all the time. But

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

Tom prepares for his hot date.

"I just don't want to be the rebound iguana."

'How do you like your egg?'

"I'm a simple man, really."

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"With so many dating services online, I had to diversify."

Babe magnet

Why did you pick this restaurant? I like the subliminal message it sends my dates. Yes. Yes.

Mister, Inc: 'Wrong...Right'

Gimme a hot chocolate. On the rocks. Straight. Lady troubles? And how. Old Mr. Mort told me if I wanted to appeal to the ladies, I should watch some old black and white movies and do what those guys do. So I started jogging downstairs sideways like Cary Grant. I said "see!" after every sentence like James Cagney. I ran in place and yelled "whoop-whoop-whoop!" like Curly. All the girls loved it. But now I have four playdates scheduled at the same time! Not at all where I thought that was going.

'No thanks! Playing doctor is how my folks ended up getting married.'