Dating Life Storyteller Mugs

"I ran your name through a background check app. You were a misogynist in the 2nd grade."

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

In Desperate Straits.

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

"I'll bet there's a story there."

Tunnel of love, then disillusionment, then mundane humdrum coexistence.

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'Alright, let's do this.'

"Did I mention the date I had last night? A complete stiff, no sense of humor ... much too cerebral."

She always said that Harold hogged the covers. Mildred Sims. Harold Sims.

"You lead such an interesting life. I've never been called to testify before a Congressional Banking Committee."

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

"This isn't about another woman, Melissa. It's about magic beans.''

"Yes, when we chatted online you did tell me that you had a ponytail, but...

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

Robo-Date Dating Service. We'll have to fix you up before we can fix you up.

News Celeb Divorce: Long-suffering wife tells us of abusive husband, In tomorrow's news - dignified husband tells us of vile grabbing wife.

"Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday! Let's light some candles, take a bubble bath, and talk about the future." "Things a woman will never hear in her lifetime - #14"

'He was so cute! I touched his arm, and guess what? He said, 'Jeepers, Creepers'!'

Woman in bed , with photos of her previous boyfriends above her head. (New boyfriend about to get in bed.)

"Hi. First time, long time. Second marriage, second mortgage. Forty years old, forty pounds overweight. No question - I just like talking about myself."

"Well, I'm sort of between quests at the moment."

"Before you answer my proposal my Dear, let me just show you the balance of my off shore account..."

Star Light, Star Bright

Man with Sex Reviews.

We don't want to see your pull-down menu

Frogs - I think he likes you.

"You lead an interesting life, Miss Edwards."

'My first husband was a whiner my second husband was a complainer. My present husband is a happy combination.'

"I've come to the conclusion that there isn't anything you can say that will cheer me up or make it better!"

"Mind if I journal?"

'Boy, Cora's gonna kill me if she gets wise, but meet me tonight behind the castle.'

"All the good ones are buried."