Dating Life Reflection Pillows

'I haven't dated that many people. Why do you ask?'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

The Map of the Human Heart

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"Why won't you cuddle?"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"You used to be that ambitious."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Where Are They Now?'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

Desk at the Horizon

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"