Dating Life Reflection Pillows

'I haven't dated that many people. Why do you ask?'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

The Map of the Human Heart

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Where Are They Now?'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

Desk at the Horizon

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."