Dating Disdainer T-Shirts

It just occurred to me, I don

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"You lack spontaniety."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Biological Cuckoo clock

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

"Your profile said you were a dog."

Alligator Bars

Romantic Coffee Dates

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

"We pointed, but we never clicked."

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.