Dating Dabblers T-Shirts

Do you mind if I have a friend spend the night? ?

"Never mind your astrological sign, what's your net worth?"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

When I walk as part of my fitness plan I feel a new, great appreciation for all humanity! That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind. It's so hot and humid nobody's around today. Magnificent desolation! Do you think you'll stick with your diet? Failure is not an otion. Look! An ice cream truck! On the moon I'd weigh 41 pounds and could eat ice cream all day! Houston we have a problem!

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

My first mistake.

'You're going to have to stop smoking, drink less, change your eating habits and start taking regular exercise.' 'This seems awfy one-sided, Doctor.'

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'Are you seeing anybody?'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Practice Pigs at the Gene Farm

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

The four major food groups.

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

Snow Surgery

'I was going to hunt for them. Then I thought hey - why not just clone new ones!'

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

Biolab. I put collie DNA into a shark. I got a fish that still bites --- but then it goes for help.

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

"A good rule of thumb is, if you can't lift it, don't eat it."

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'