Dating App User Mugs

I know I'm not what you expected. You've been catfished."

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

'I thought that he said in his profile that he wore jockeys, not is a jockey!'

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

"I meet people all the time, but nothing ever seems to last."

"But your profile said you were the hottest guy on the planet."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

cuPad

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Today's love

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

'He was taller online!'

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

James and Sarah had no chance of sex with antibiotic resistant gonorrhea keeping them apart

Boyfriend Shirt.

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

You're 22 hours early, Lance. I thought I was two hours late. Which do you prefer?

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"This is definately the last time I arrange a date over the internet..."

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

Courtship versus Tinder

Tinder for dogs

'En-counter'

Online Dating Tip 1: Don't Get Angry

Blind date signage - ( the obscured sign reads SLOW)