Date Night Commiserator Pillows

'Thanks for walking me home, but as the restaurant was five miles away a taxi might have been nice.'

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

Asking out a palm reader.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'S'more wine?'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

"I like Chardonnay, but I like saying 'Pinot Grigio.'"

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'I've spent a fortune wining and dining you today Julie and now you tell me you love Picasso!'

"So much for watching a Jane Austen movie with my date. He kept waiting for the car chase!"

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"If they give you any trouble, find a good babysitter and go out for the evening."

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"Well, if you must know, he makes me laugh."

"Pay no attention to us, we're just a mirage."

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"I hope this guy isn't as dull as he looks."

"I don't know - I feel like we always split the cheese plate."

'He seems nice.'

"I would gladly explain it to you, Allison. But, for your information, it's inexplicable."

'Cute girl from philosophy. . . BBQ at Dave's. I wonder if she's going?. . . Flat meeting to talk about me not doing my share.'

"Did you notice the smirk on his face when he said 'enjoy'?"

'This dinner had everything necessary to make it perfect...Great food, candlelight, violinist... you clutching your chest after seeing the check.'

"It's so romantic here with all these candles!"

'Listen darling - they're playing our ring-tone!'

"No! I want to stay up here with you!"

'We're having a graduation party for Jerome. Actually, it's more like a fund raiser.'

"Could you handle this...I'm all decisioned-out for today."