Database Delver T-Shirts

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

"Data bases try to avoid me!"

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

Big Data Tonight

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

'A xebec and fluyt passed a heptad of shilpit grugrus.'

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

Farmer planting the next crop of PC's.

Oh, we don't invade planets anymore --- Now we just hack into databases.

"Buy my data $20"

News. Economic Data. I'm not as interested in the strength of the economy as is whether it's on my side.

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

The Wiki Man.

Statistics department with 'You are here (sampling error +/- 4%)'.

"Here we see the size of your portion, choice of toppings and cost per slice. If we're in agreement, I'll place the order."

Likes Charts Likes Pie

'No matter how carefully I surf the Internet, I always get too much information.'

Stock Market Adventure

Some line managers like to use graphs in performance management meetings.

'Step one inexploring a newly discovered cave- wade thru the bat guano.'

He's our most reliable researcher...highly stable and chemically inert.

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

'If I may discuss the pie chart first I'll then reveal my source!

Dreaming pets.

Madame Irma: sait tout, voit tout. Lit l'avenir dans le big data.

"Workboy"