Data Wrangler Pillows

'I've analyzed, condensed and simplified the data...it was a good quarter.'

'I think he was bombarded with a little too much information!'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

Bicycle Pie Chart

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'I'll be late tonight dear. I'm caught in a data deluge!'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

US Federal Statistics: Meaningful and Meaningless,

'I was using a program to help me manage my teaching load.'

STRIP Hambone: Number cruncher

Directory charts for those lost in complicated requirements documents.

"Now to file 50 million completed Census forms"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

Editor.

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

'Ah, the Bermuda Rectangle for files.'

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

Information Tightrope.

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'It soon became obvious, this stranger meant business!'

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

Literary rain

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?

"I see here the party of the first part says 'potato.' The party of the second part says 'potahto.' The party of the first part says 'tomato,' the party of the second part says 'tomahto.' Both parties, by mutual agreement, wish to call the whole thing off

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'

"I handle chatty people for him."

An expletive of editors

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