Data-savvy Spiritualist T-Shirts

"If you phone it in at work, make sure you have unlimited data."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

Dead Scientists Climbs DNA Stairway to Heaven.

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

Holy phone

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

End of world nigh!!!

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"I do miss the crystal ball."

Palm Top Readings

"I spy with my mind's eye..."

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Plugged In

Confession plugged up to an amp.

A fortune-teller working her new big plasma crystal ball.

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"