Data Joker T-Shirts

'It doesn't matter what kind of pie it is, Andrew, it's just a chart.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Fear/Knowledge

Intelligent people laugh too!

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Big Data Tonight

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

Vacation Mobile

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Tell Figgis I'm busy.

Information Tightrope.

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

Man stabbed by fallin arrow on wall chart.

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

'Prolonged sitting leads to death? What's up with that?'