Data Analysts Pillows

'As you can see here, there were a few downticks, followed by a few upticks, finishing off with some antics.'

Government Security Breach Reporting Station

'In your case, we had to assemble a spread sheet.'

'I don't mind peer reviews by my Millennial coworkers, but do they need to post them online?'

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"

"That's the craziest 1100110101001 thing I've ever heard! Pardon my binary."

"Everything looks fine. Now, let's check the baby's FICO score."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Anti-Agent

"Welcome to the future"

British savings accounts

"My email is down... talk to me."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Fear/Knowledge

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Light Bulb Moment

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'