Data Analysis Pillows

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

"It doesn't matter what you like - according to the demographics, this is the car for you."

"Hold everything! The P.R. department just sent over this chart."

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Department of Pure Speculation.

Had volumes of data at my fingertips and still didn't see this one coming.

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'I've analyzed, condensed and simplified the data...it was a good quarter.'

SURVEYS-R-US: "87% of the 56% who completed more than 23% of the survey thought it was a waste of time."

"We've seen all the data and crunched all the numbers, now, heads or tails?"

'Having conducted a comprehensive analysis of dozens of subsets of data from a wide range of sources we've confirmed that the likely answer is 36...now we just need to identify the question.'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'But then again...we could be wrong.'

'We're beginning to see some positive patters in the emerging data.'

'That's it, in a nutshell.'

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?

Room for Error

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And this projected sales increase has a margin of error of 100%."

"Look, we've got to improve our voter-tracking algorithms if we want to make more accurate wild-ass guesses."

"Joan, I need you to prepare an objective analysis proving I'm correct."

"What a week!"

"I love your optimism."

"The danger with studying anything this closely is that you lose sight of the context."

'Oh no. More lab results.'

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'If at first you don't get the survey results you want on your first survey, get mad and tear it up.'

'Well, no, I don't see any patterns in this data, but I did see Elvis in my oatmeal this morning!'

'I don't know, I just thought my data dashboard could use some fuzzy dice.'

'As you can see here, there were a few downticks, followed by a few upticks, finishing off with some antics.'

"Graph A is verified by Graph B. Graph B is verified by Graph C. Graph C is verified by Graph A. So you see...it's all verified."

"...and this chart shows people clearly prefer bar graphs to pie charts."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"