Dash-and-dinero Defender Mugs

"It's road kill."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

No Soliciting

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

A Change of Scene.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

Dog being carried off by ducks.

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"This is what happens when we don't practice social distancing."

'Nest egg for retirement ... and inflation!'

Uh-oh, They're evolving!

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

Save the Cacti.

"Not guilty, Your Honor, the menu clearly says 'Death by Chocolate'."

Mum ices cake with 'hands off'.

Only very few of the lumbering giants relied on speed...

Why the "Man's Best Friend" thing is a total fraud.

Ginger Breadman

"I don't see one damn thing we haven't eaten before."

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'...I still the the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top!'

Revenge of the Mallards.

'And please take into account that my client was acting upon a double-dog-dare.'

'Get this straight, I'm a guard dog: I don't fetch the newspaper!'

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

Doris turns to crime