Danger Darling Pillows

'I warned you not to ski so close to that snow gun!'

“I heard von Schleflin yell ‘Eureka,’ and then kerblam!”

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

"Eat me"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Thank you for purchasing the first modular dressing kid for guys

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

Sword Swallow is Bitten by a Mosquito.

The hall of bad ideas.

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

Avalanche skiing is a RUSH!

Man putting his head in a lion's mouth

'We're here to talk to your son about his website...'

Ladies who lunch.

The Croucho Club

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances.

"Don't eat anything fatty...you're not listening, Fatty...I said, 'Don't eat anything!'"

Snakeboarding.

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

"Of course I love you . . . didn't you see my Twitter feed?"

Death Defying Stunt.

'I think I may be an adrenaline junkie.'

'Just had to text and ride, didn't you?'

'This is a killer hole!'

'Caution! Quick sand in this area.'

'Those are my best tights, don't you dare ladder them !'

Dagger Juggling Circus Act Goes Wrong

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators … Armstrong skis down a pile of his money … Without a helmet. Even that ancient hag Sadie has a dangerous hobby. Every year, in violation of both common sense and local fire safety ordinances, the old lady lights all the candles on her birthday cake. I heard that!!! Fun fact: The 20th century was one of the most brutal in h