Dancefloor Diplomat Gifts

Fat man requesting concave dancing partner

ZOOM 'n' GLOOM.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

Playground reputation.

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"We're too tired to argue. Let's let Siri and Alexa handle this for us."

'Ok - I'm reaching out!'

How's the boss today? Should I push his buttons or pull his chain?

"Keep up the good work and there'll probably be a nice promotion in it for me."

Middle East peace lesson.

Conflict Resolution Training - Cancelled Due To Disagreement Over Venue.

'Look, O'Brien, you can't just waltz in here like that and demand a raise.'

Trump and President Xi

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

"I can't hold it together much longer. . . If Bradley doesn't wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face soon, I swear I'll kill him."

'I take it this department has had conflicts.'

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Meeting between USA and North Korea

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

The new rain dance.

'And I bet the same resolution principles would work in your neighborhood conflicts.'

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

Trading Insults

How's my Jiving?

Aberdeen Smoking the Pipe of Peace - Aberdeen and France at War with Russia

You're so demanding, run it yourself!

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"