Dance Performer Pillows

'Ladies and Gentlemen. If there is a philanthropist in the audience who would like to endow our theater, would he or she please advise one of the ushers.'

"Do you mind?"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

I could have danced all night!

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Omara Portuondo

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Turn, turn and turn.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Extreme miming"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

Pirate

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Cow Show Tunes

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.