Dairy-free Devotees T-Shirts

'Do I have to say 'cheese'? I'm lactose intolerant!'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

Cheeze Wiz.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

'Oh Hi!'

Important Food Groups

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

Milking the Cow.

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

'Bless You.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Cheese Pile

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

Moo-Magrams Exams

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

Cute cow drinking from a carton from Nestle

Milk sideburns

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

A consumer guide to cheese.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Moses Separates the Cream. . .

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

Lactose intolerance.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'Room for cream?'

Furtive Milking

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'